Ask Cthulhu
Straight from R'lyeh
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Admit it. You just want to use the star sign because it looks cooler.
Heh heh heh.
How does it feel to be a mortal of limited intellect? Or has a Mi-go taken your brain? This question has already been answered HERE
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The very fact that you have remained to read this is a solid testament to your devotion. Such loyalty will be rewarded in time, my darling dear acolytes.
Yes, I have been absent for several months. No, you cannot know what I was preparing during these last weeks.
Yet.
Oh yes, I have been busy hastening my grand awakening. As always, your cooperation is vital to the success of our efforts. Luckily, everything is going according to plan. The truly worthy among you will be receiving their new assignments within the week.
The rest of you lot… Well. Let’s just say that evil must have standards and I cannot abide by clumsiness or a lax sense of duty. Feel free to petition me with your grievances, but I will very probably ignore you.
My questioning box has been freshly emptied of all your mindless mortal drivel.
Ask away.
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My dear, who do you think gave Pickman his models?
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Oh hot damn, look at all that Non-Euclidean geometry.
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He is a pretty cool guy, but every time I call him he tries to kill me. It’s a bad habit.
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One time when I was much smaller, my Uncle Hastur gave me some special cultist robes. Now, of course, I realize that it was all just a cruel joke, but then… Well. I was just happy to be getting a gift.
Needless to say, I was the laughingstock of all the Old Ones for about a day before I figured it out.
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Believe me, it’s bothersome. Apparently humans can’t even pronounce “R’lyeh” properly because they only have one tongue. The truly devoted will slit theirs into two, then it’s a passable pronunciation.
I’ve never heard anyone get “mglw’nafh” even slightly correct.
And for the out-of-tune part- I’m the high priest of the Great Old Ones and a chaotic and malevolent entity destined to enslave all humanity and destroy the earth. I can drive beings insane just by having them look at me. Do you think that songs devoted to me are SUPPOSED to sound nice?
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I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the noise of feeding the shoggoth.
Anyway, It’s the weirdest form of worship I’ve ever seen.
(Which is definitely saying something, considering all the insane cultists I’ve had to deal with over the millenniums.)
